2 Months

It's been 2 months since my last posting!

When you sit back and really think about it
a lot can happen in 2 months.

I've sent 100s of e-mails.
I spent $700 on a new muffler and other "bonuses."
I gave over a dozen talks on some faith-related topic.
I've witnessed a number of lives changed by the Holy Spirit:
some drastically, some just altered a bit.
I led worship music in about 6 Masses,
and more praise & worship sessions than I can remember.
My family flew out to Delaware for Isaiah's 1st birthday.
I celebrated my son's 1st birthday 3 times.
I've spent at least 10 full days over at the Agustins'.
I actually cleaned up my basement.
1 Weekend high school retreat.
1 praise band.
2 engagements.
1 funeral.

Every once in a while
in spite of the madness of schedules
we put ourselves through
all for (hopefully) very good reasons
we need to
stop time
and just breathe it all in
and appreciate
those things
or people
most precious
to us.

Echoing a good friend
who knew this fact 10 years ago:
I wish everyone I loved lived 2minutes away
so I could just hug them whenever.
That would be
Heaven.

Skittles

Skittles are delicious.
And if you have an open bag
for over 3 months (or so)
they don't go bad.
Trust me.

24/7

I was thinking a few weeks ago:
There are 168 hours in a week ... where do they all go?
42 hrs sleep per week
21 hrs for my own bathroom & eating business
15 hrs for my kids' bathroom & eating business (G'ma & Mom take care of the other times)
40 hrs work (not completely honest)
7 hrs per week just getting ready to leave the house (gross underestimate)
5 hrs per week just driving places & back
7 hrs per week household management (clean, bills, laundry, toys away)
2 hrs per week teaching a class
2 hrs per week morning & evening prayer
1 hr per week going to Mass
___________

142 hours!

I didn't count talking on the phone, since I typically do that driving.
I didn't count blogging since I haven't blogged since September.
What am I missing? I watch TV ... but not 26 hours!
I have 26 hours per week / 3.7 hours per day to:

Spend with my wife
Play with my kids
Do nothing
Pray & Play
See extended family & friends
Carve a pumpkin
Clean off my desk
Get in shape
Write music

Never mind. I think I found out where 168 hours goes.

Dear Kids

Dear Luci & Lijah,

I pray that you find God more quickly than I did.
Then, when you're 33,
You can say that most of your life was spent
trying to "win an imperishable crown."
Cuz the other "crowns" really are perishable.
Like food.
And they're not as cool.

Love, Dad

5 Years

Some people don't like making resolutions
because they don't keep them.
I think the point of resolutions
is resolving to make a change about yourself
that you're just plain sick of.
If you don't keep it
then you're probably not sick of it enough.
The problem ...
someone you love is probably sick of it.

The point?
My beautiful wife and I have been married for 5 years.
Stats:
2 children
2 homes
3 careers
2 degrees
1 minivan
countless ups
negligible downs

5 years ago I resolved to be a better man
each and every day
for the husband I was becoming
and the father I would be.
And with God's grace
and the love of my family
this happened.

I pray that 5 years from now
it will still be happening.

Thank you to all our family and extended family (friends)
that have been a blessing to my family
through your prayers, thoughts and presence.
May the Almighty God of the Universe
through His only Son, Jesus the Christ,
fill you with His Holy Spirit that you and your families
may not only feel, but know the presence of a
loving God in your lives.
And may this love permeate the fabric of your
being and touch the lives of all you encounter.

Nemo dat quod non habet

One cannot give what one does not have.

It's true in relationships, true in ministry.
Personal & spiritual.

Humility always wins.

The Pilipino Way

Once we were doing some mortgage business with a family friend and he
said, "don't worry about the details ... we can just do things the 'Pilipino Way'."

From his tone, the content of our discussion and his "swaying head dance with regressed neck," we assumed he meant he would somehow bend the rules for us. Is this the 'Pilipino Way'?

It is reminiscent of stories of my parents and in-laws about how they got to the States: a dude sitting at a desk with a pile of files to review ... hand him your file and a few $100 bills ... your file getting put on top of the pile. Any other stories like this?

Let's face it, corruption is a word that is almost taken for granted when we think about Pilipino institutions: there always seems to be officers of some kind (president, treasurer, secretary), always seems to be an incompetent cousin, brother, or friend put in a position of power, and there always seems to be grumblers about those in power. Is this the 'Pilipino Way'? Is this what I want to pass on to my children?

The commitment to family. The food. The cultural dances. The music. The language - very difficult, considering Visayan does not have a strict written form. The lessons of true poverty, hardship and sacrifice. To me, this is the true 'Pilipino Way.' Also, have you noticed how packed the churches are in the PI? The poor tend to have a very straightforward view of the God of the universe: He exists ... and I need Him.

On a side note: there's this Pilipino guy who works at Krispy Kreme. Once he found out we were Pilipino, he gave us a dozen glazed gems free. Next time, he stuck an extra doughnut in our half dozen box.
Ah ... the Pilipino Way!

What's His Name?

Luci asked me the other day,
"Who am I going to marry?"
"A nice boy," I answered.
"What's his name?," she inquired,
the perpetual interrogative becoming her latest fancy.
"I don't know."
"I know his name," she responded with that cute half grin.
"His name is Daddy! I'm going to marry you!"

And to think, one day I just won't be that cool anymore.

It Finally Happened

It was early, and I was groggy.
My son cried out for some milk.
Mom's gone to work, so I'm the man.
My eyes still opening
I painfully stub my foot on ...
a Fisher Price Rocking Horse
Planted strategically
at the foot of my bed.
That was 4 days ago.
It still hurts
my feelings.

This is the Day

In the quiet of our hearts
God speaks to us
Unmistakably distinct
So what takes us so long
to make the choice that will grant us true freedom?
true happiness?
Faith.
And how do we receive this faith?
We ask for it.
The past 10 years has been a journey
towards this day
My first day at "work"
as the full-time Coordinator of Youth Ministry
at St. Thomas Aquinas Parish
I've been hearing His voice distinctly since 1996.
That's when I started dating this girl I knew I would marry.
I took the first step for the Kingdom in 2000.
It also took me until 2000 to ask for faith.
Go figure.
I thank and praise God for this day
For this is simply
the beginning ...

Duane

Everyone has to have someone to go to seek counsel. First and foremost, the Lord God, Creator of heaven and earth - not a bad first pick. But on the human side, hopefully your spouse is not only a fantastic person, but your best friend (props to Mad). Then you have your wedding party and your children's Godparents. And, of course, your own parents and, with God's grace, your in-laws (I'm not kidding - you've gotta be able to talk to them!). But then, sometimes, you need someone who cares but doesn't know the ins & outs ... an objective, caring ear. For me, this is Duane.

Duane has been my barber for nearly 6 years, since my move to the Lansing area. Mad & I decided that although she did a decent job on my hair we enjoyed using those 4+ hours more productively. That's when I walked into Duane's place, "Arkies' Barbershop."

I saw "Coming to America" yesterday for the millionth time. Talk about barbershops. People make a lot of crazy claims in the context of getting your hair cut. One guy came in trying to sell us an indestructible glass cutting board. The other barber, Bill, is a collector of all things Santa. I'm always getting flack for being a Wolverine, unless its football season.

But I trust Duane. Not because he's been cutting hair for over 50 years. Not because his clients include several high ranking officials, including the Univesity president and others who always get him great sporting event seats. Not even because he went to my church the week before my wedding, found my number and cut my hair because he was heading to an unexpected surgery that week.

I trust Duane because he loves the Lord. A simple man who does not claim to be perfect - he often retells his parenting mistakes to me that I may learn a thing or two. Within our first meeting, I realized the strength and stability of his faith. And with all the 'advice' thrown around nowadays, don't we all need a little Duane in our lives?

Rome Sweet Home

I've made big moves in the past.
From college, to Greenies, to Vibe, to Pfizer, to Lakeside.
Sometimes a plan.
Most of the time, faith in a dream.
Or perhaps just faith.
Everything I have ever done has been preparation for this week.
Every time I asked those questions about God.
And every time I ignored every whisper
or clanging cymbal.
All the music, interpersonal relationships,
Saturday mornings & afternoons
Friday night Bible studies
Apologetics, papers & exams
From the day I decided
that my life was no longer my own
But that it had to serve a higher purpose
For in that I would find my purpose.
I'm finally coming home.
Rome Sweet Home!

Luci & Lijah

I always write long and deep, so this is gonna be short and sweet.

I've changed more soupy-poopy diapers this week than I have ever imagined could exist. Please keep my family in your prayers, especially the babies:) And a special thank you to my parents who still give up their sleep and health to help their baby boy.

Holy Week

Most Catholics would tend to view the Consecration of the Blessed Sacrament as the whole point of the mass - the true presence of the Body and Blood of Jesus Christ, the only Son of God. But taking this perspective with regards to the mass is simply an echoing of how we like our (insert whatever). For instance:

We love Sportscenter because it gives us the highlights and the last-second shot. We choose Cliff notes because we get the gist despite getting lost in an age-old form of our language. We order take-out to save on the preparation, dishwashing and overall hassel of making food ourselves. Despite our advancements in technology and the sciences, we still seem to lack time to do everything we "need" to do. Thus, we find ways to take shortcuts.

An older theology went like this: if you get to mass before the end of the homily and stay until you've received the Blessed Sacrament, you're in the clear. In other words, this mass "counts" as your "obligation" as a Catholic. Many people still buy into this. But it's just plain neanderthal - no offense to the Geico guys.

Mass begins the moment you left the last mass, when you were sent out, filled with the Bread of everlasting life, to do your part for the Kingdom. Mass continues throughout the week as you live your life to the fullest, loving God with all your heart, strength, soul, & mind, and your neighbor as yourself. Notice that there is nothing here about everyone needing to become a priest or religious ... although bless their hearts!

Mass is in preparation mode when you arrive to Church EARLY! That's right ... we can get to work on time, to a wedding if you're the best man, to a Bon Jovi concert when Stryper's opening, and 50% or so of the people who get to church are coming in some 10-20 minutes late. You get there early to prepare: for the Word you will hear, for the congregation who is the body of Christ, for the Priest who acts in the person of Christ AND for the Blessed Sacrament of which you will partake intimately.

So we call this week "Holy Week." The culmination of the Christian liturgical calendar, "remembering" the single most important event in the history of humankind - the life, death and resurrection of Jesus of Nazareth, and thus salvation available for all souls.

Yes, this week has a special place in our hearts ... and yes, we tend to do something special with those special times ... but should this week be drastically different than any other? Should our public piety and personal prayer be at all time highs during this week? Should we not, as we look at the mass, view the Pascal mystery (life, death & resurrection) as an everyday occurence ... one that we should cherish with all of our heart, strength, soul & mind each & every day? Every day would be precious. Every day would be filled with love. Every day would have more than enough time. Every day would be practice for heaven.

I write too much.

Plan to do nothing

I'm decent at scheduling a "much ado." You know, hit a deadline, cross all the t's, make all the necessary calls ... finish. But I have yet to master the art of planning to do nothing. Don't get me wrong - I can definitely do nothing, especially when I'm sick or I find myself trapped at an auto dealer for an hour waiting on a ten-minute oil change. But planning nothing has eluded me.

I like to keep busy, perhaps equating in my mind that busyness (an actual word!) is not laziness or something like that. But, as with all things it seems, having kids tends to alter your view of things.

Lucia is always busy, too. Whether her peculiar arranging of toys in a row or simply lining up chess pieces, she's got stuff to do. But when it's time to go to sleep, she doesn't understand it if I'm reading in bed. Or if I'm on the computer. Or not home at all. In her mind, time for bed means this: change into pajamas ... brush teeth ... maybe cut nails ... wash face & nose ... read a story (or 2 or 3) ... say prayers ... fall asleep as daddy recites as many saints that come to mind to help induce sleep.

Some would consider this routine as nothing in particular. It is exactly this nothing that I need to plan on doing.

Stealing

So we've had a thief these past few weeks at school. Probably not a student, due to most things being stolen during class periods.
A bunch of incidents, may or may not be related, but allow me to recount the goods:

- 1 CD player installed in a car
- coins from our fundraising coin drive
- 2 purses
- a piece of paper

From a distance, these seem like nothing much, save pehaps the CD player.
These petty thefts allow me to reflect on a very important lesson: the slippery slope of sin. What may seem like just nuisance "sins" actually have teeth that can do damage.

For instance, how many times have we done or encountered faking our age to get some discount. "OK, Lucia, for today, you're gonna be 2 yrs. old!" Or how many of us are willing to go back into a store once we realize that we just walked off with goods unpaid, "Well, that was the checkout person's fault ... I did nothing wrong."

These are very really scenarios that apparently hurt no one. But my kids will sniff me out. Children are amazingly adept at calling those actions exactly what they are: hypocrisy. These very realy scenarios are the tip of the iceberg known as stealing. Stealing is a sin. It is wrong. It is the 8th commandment. Even a little bit of stealing is still stealing. You cannot rationalize it. Even if it's for a good purpose, you must still admit that it is stealing.

The CD player was stolen from a newlywed teacher. Newlyweds don't have a lot of money (typically), nor do teachers. Funny thing is that player doesn't work without a special installation CD they kept at home. It's just a piece of junk now.

The coins stolen were from the Kindergarten class. This class was just beaming off of winning the all-school total for the week. And these kids are like 5 years old. Who steals from little kids?

The purses were stolen from a junior and senior girl. One was already having a pretty rotten week, having her mother strand her at home without a ride to school. She got here just after noon - bicycling her way in the sub-freezing weather for over an hour. But, hey, why not inconvenience her a little more by making her get a new driver's license, SS card, credit cards, bank cards, and, to boot ... a new phone.

Finally, the piece of paper was in my car. I normally lock my doors, but at times have trouble with all the stuff I'm bringing in. The paper was in my ash tray, along with 2 dollar bills and about $1.50 in change. That piece of paper is so old that you couldn't even detect a trace of ink that was once on it. But it was a reminder to me of the time I almost lost Mad ... all my fault and all my stupidity ... some 8 years ago. But to that thief, it was simply trash.

Sin is sin and it always has the effects of sin.

The Sacrament of Marriage

A sacrament points to a deeper reality ... something beyond the simple signs and symbols associated with it. Wedding rings are quite symbolic. A marriage, despite current trends (i.e. divorce, drive-thru chapels, and same-sex unions), also points to a deeper reality. It has to. It must be more than the piece of paper required by the state with 2 witnesses. It must be more than a deed to a house or joint checking account. It must even be more than children.

Because marriage is a sacrament, it is inherently tied to the Pascal mystery - that is, the life, death & resurrection of Christ. In other words, our marriages will have elements of life. There will also be death - to ourselves & to our "single" ways, to name a few. But, there is also resurrection - healing, growth and a transformation into a new being.

That being said, I wonder how many people know what they're getting into when they say that they want to be married in the Church. Do they desire this because they want the gorgeous pictures and video? Do they desire this to satisfy a gung-ho Catholic parent? Do they desire this simply out of comfort - "I've never imagined getting married anywhere else"?

The one who administers the sacrament of marriage is not the priest. It is the couple who give mutual consent. The priest is simply a witness of the church. Therefore, it is the primary responsibility of the couple to safeguard that their marriage is a daily, living witness to the Pascal mystery of Christ - i.e. a sacrament. What a responsibility! We may not all be ready to take this on to the degree in which Christ calls, but Christ calls us from where we are spiritually. We need only be open to the possibility for Christ, through the Holy Spirit, to nudge us towards fulfilling this sacramental calling to the Glory of God.

Just a couple thoughts from my sacraments class.

For the Kingdom

So ... my wife suggested during our first date night in nearly 2 months that I should consider blogging. An opportunity to reflect on the day and an aid in keeping up with a "personal" diary. And, a chance to keep up with loved ones.
So begins this blogging thing ...

Last year's theme was "Finish." I did my best to apply it to everything I set my mind to - Formation Classes, concerts, moving, daily mass, moving again and preparing for the birth of my son. I always envisioned at the end of the year hearing the voice, "It is finished ... well done, good and faithful servant." Alas, I did hear this as I watched the ball drop on New Year's eve, but it sounded curiously like my own internal dialogue.

Either way, 2005 presented its challenges and triumphs. At school was perhaps the greatest negative scar on my mind in 5 years of teaching: the utter breakdown of as-close-as-you-can-get utopia. I never thought Christians could get so angry. Either my naivete or a case study on "Christians." But I can't completely blame them; I've had my off days/months/years as a Christian, too.

This year, 2006, the G theme is "For the Kingdom." Whatever, whenever, with whomever. It will involve my beautiful wife and 2 amazing little children. It will encompass extended family and friends whom I consider family. It may involve a career modification - possibly working for the Church full time. I will graduate with a second bachelors degree. I will sing and write new songs. I may even run on a bum knee from time to time.

But whatever the topic or personnel involved, I will focus my energies this year, by His grace & His Spirit, on working "for the Kingdom." All prayers in helping me with this endeavor are greatly appreciated.

Theological Side Note: As a Catholic, you are only technically required to attend mass once a year by canon law. But, technically, a human can survive on water, beans & corn tortilla. Why snack on munchies when you've got an open-ended invitation to a feast? Just a thought.